A letter to loneliness

Dear Loneliness,

Hey, it's been awhile. How have you been? I am not writing because I miss you. It's just that you made a brief visit without calling and I decided to just let you know exactly what you mean to me so that we don't walk together again. Yes this is a break up note.

We've known each other for a long time. I can't remember exactly when we were introduced but I do know that we stuck to each other like herpes to a prostitute. I can't say we had a smooth relationship, in fact I remember us fighting and hitting each other many times. Yet, you always insisted in sleeping next to me at night. Come to think of it..we had a pretty abusive relationship didn't we?

There were times when I thought I got rid of you when I met someone new, but who knew you were sinister enough to come masked in other forms (depression,emptiness, anger, hatred, jealousy) I must admit I was in denial and forced myself to believe that you changed to something more positive like Love.

You kept me company every night even when I screamed for you to let go of me. You always had a firm grip on me and I was too weak to pry away from your strong hands. You promised me so many things that I succumbed to that eventually led to nothing but words. Yes as much as I hate to say it you were always there even when my best friends weren't.

I feel like I should be grateful somehow, but when I look back at all the ugliness I wanted to put myself through for you..it just makes me sad. I know you have been stalking me. I've seen your shadow a few times. The last time I threw you out I promised myself that I am never taking you back again. I am happier now and I know you can see that.

So loneliness, I know its lonely to walk alone. Yes we were best friends and lovers. But I've found someone now. He makes me happy and he is real. Unlike you, his honest. In case you're wondering. His name is LOVE.

I know you've met him, his mentioned you a few times. Told me that you will visit occasionally but his always going to be there for me and never let harm get in my way. I've learnt to accept that and I'd just like to say to you that the next time you come in, leave the key. You won't be needing it anymore. In fact there is no place for you here. I will be gracious enough to offer you a glass of water but that's it.

Trust that we have reached understanding in this matter. I wish you the best of luck. I hear you have been a squatter in a certain 40 year old's life. I always knew you were gay and you liked older men.

Best Regards,
Lonely No More